I wish i was a gay man..................?

I really wish I was born a man I hate being a girl. I love men the way they look act etc.... and I hate women women are gross to me. I wish I was born a man I was thinking about becoming a man but I'm to feminine. I'm small about 4'7 and I'm 20. I have curves also...... I hate being a girl. I want to be a gay manly male. Anybody else struggle with wanting to be different then what you are? And should I try surgery.